It’s Not You?
Sitting down with someone to hear the infamous “It’s not you, it’s me” phrase can be so disorienting. It does not matter if it is personal or business. It can throw you off your game. All of a sudden you are back on your heels. It is a complete mind game. You were told “it’s not you,” yet you still feel that you have done something wrong. To keep your sanity, you just need to follow a couple of steps.
Step One: Understanding
First of all, don’t panic and freak out like George Costanza from Seinfeld. Evaluate your situation. Take into account that you may be the third salesperson that a business owner has met with this week. Once you put that into perspective you can see that you may be a victim of unfortunate timing. You may have a decision maker in front of you that will be reluctant to anything you propose to them.
It is very important to use your skills of perception at this stage. Evaluation of the situation could be the difference between two different ending scenarios. You pay attention, and actually listen to what you are being told. Then you evaluate the situation and examine other communication cues. You determine that it was bad timing and know that you need to try again, but at a later date and time. Or you don’t pay attention, and you don’t truly listen to your prospective client. Then you will come across as a needy, insecure, whiny ex… I mean salesperson. Let’s be honest, nobody wants that, and in that case “it’s not you” is simply said to save your feelings.
Step Two: Redemption
Own it when it happens! Be confident in your product or service. Take that comment at face value. It’s not you. It is them. They may not understand what you are offering. That is their loss, not yours.
You still need to rely on your skills of observation. But if you have done everything right, your service is sound, and you add value to your clients, then walk away proud knowing that they cannot find anyone better than you.
One of two things will happen at that point. You will be free of a business relationship with someone that is most likely going to cause you or your company multiple headaches anyway. Or they will come back begging you to work with them. They know that you are the best in your industry and you would be an asset to their business. Of course, you can always tell that needy, whiny, insecure person that turned you down, “it’s not you, it’s me.”
Matt Carnaghi | Twitter: @carnaghimd1 | Instagram: @carnaghimd1 | LinkedIn: Matt Carnaghi